Unfortunately for us 2010 will not be the year that World Cup fever spreads past the first round of eliminations in the U.S. After a tightly contested match the United States fell to Ghana in overtime which marks the the second consecutive World Cup match against Ghana that has sent the U.S. home early. This loss comes as a heavy blow to a U.S. team that was riding high on it's 1 to 1 tie against England in the first round. Both thrilling games showcased the ability of the U.S. team to keep their score as low as possible. Following the loss the U.S. ambassador to mediocrity Joe Schmo was quoted as saying "Meh! It's not who wins or looses but I'm just glad they tried hard. Third time's a charm, we'll get 'em next time!".
Get real! I don't care how much people want soccer.....er.....football to happen here. Until we start winning it's not going to. If you want proof of this look at the 1980 miracle on ice team that is still somehow proping the sport of hockey up on life support here in the states. People still talk about that win like it decided the Cold War for us! We are a country that demands winning because it's in our DNA.
If we loose at something then we simply downplay our interest in it. Like when we lost to Puerto Rico in basketball during the 2004 Olympics. "They play a different type of basketball with funny rules". Ah, that is why they out scored us by 19 points. Gotcha.
When it comes to a sport based on low scores, lots of defense, and way more acting than a Megan Fox movie, we as Americans will demand more for our attention. That is why I have a few suggestions that might help the U.S. the next time around.
1. Play with steel toe boots. If half the injuries that were faked on the field were the result of a size 12 Redwing to the shin I think you could sway some of the MMA crowd over.
2. Give players weapons. Since the common perception here in the states is that soccer players are sissies I think if they were carying a baseball bat around to bludgeon a would be "challenger" it help would dispell that myth. Besides nothing says American like a Louisville Slugger!
3. Release a live bear onto the field. If you think the World Cup is boring and a little slow just watch how fast everyone would run with a 2-ton Alaskan Grizzly on the loose. "Hey that bear is from America. USA...USA...USA!!!" Better yet give each team a bear and instead of those stupid yellow and red cards make player tie a T-bone steak around their waist after a foul. Now it's like the World Cup meets Survivor!
Admitedly the aforementioned "improvements" would resemble something out of a Mad Max movie rather than a World Cup game but I think the point is that if America is going to get on board with another sport it will need to cater to the audience.
Then again maybe yelling GOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!! once every forty-five minutes is enough to help soccer...er...football catch on here in the U.S. When it comes to obnoxiously screaming things at the top of your lungs while wearing funny hats we love that kind of stuff!
No comments:
Post a Comment