Ahhh...Saint Valentine's Day. A day in which men everywhere club each over the head to get the last of the roses and candy left on store shelves. A day that symbolizes the commericialization of America and the fact that the world is in fact run (behind the scenes of course) by Hallmark (based in Kansas City for all you hometown fans). It is also a day that is largely misunderstood. Therefore I thought that I would share a little knowledge about this "holiday"....

In 496 A.D Pope Gelasius I estabilshed that a feast should be held in honor a martyr by the name of Valentine (but instead of "Valentine" is was pronounced all Greeky). Details are fuzzy about whether or not the feast was supposed to be for just one "Valentine" or several martyrs by that name. (Feasts were kinda like keggers in those days, you didn't need a real good excuse to have one) The thing is Gelasius didn't even know the guy or for that matter what the guy did other than die. He was quoted as saying "his acts are known only to God....and he owes me money". This may be paraphrasing but the point is he was no Lebron James of his day.

Later historical evidence point to a "Valentinus" that was a Roman priest who was caught and imprisoned for marrying Christian couples (the eqivilent of a modern day prop 8 scandal...thanks California). The Roman emporer at the time Claudius II actually became fond of Valentinus and the two became close...until Valentinus tried to convert Claudius II to Christianity. Claudius then promptly ordered Valentinus to be beaten with clubs and beheaded. (Just to be fair this is a pretty standard reaction to anyone who tries to push their religion on me too.)

This decidedly un-Valentine's Day-like event later led to Gelasius declaring a feast in the name of Valentine, the brutal murder of seven gangsters by Al Capone's gang in 1929, and eventually to what we know today as Saint "open your wallets for candy and flowers" Day. If you are as confused as I am about what giving flowers and greeting cards to a loved one has to do with these events you aren't alone.

Oh well, V-Day is almost over and now we can concentrate on celebrating Jesus rising from the dead by hiding painted egss and taking our kids pictures on the lap of a six foot tall rabbit at Sears. God Bless America!!!